Mic check. Is this thing on?
Whatsup and welcome back to the blog, your favorite bi-weekly written word press by a couple of Kung Foo Fighters. Let me go ahead and address the elephant in the room. Yes, Matt and I took a quick hiatus from the blog. 2 months, to be exact.
What were we doing? Well, Matt and I were tasked with creating the next level for Kanga. We were deep in the weeds, using our impressive degrees to create what we liked to call “The KangaVerse.” This would’ve been an AR and VR embedded virtual world for all the Kanga fans out there to virtually pound breakfast beers together. After working tirelessly on the system, Zuckerberg stole the damn project and just changed the name. Not surprised, to say the least, but hey, now we’re back and ready to blog harder than ever.
I digress, today we’re going to take a look at one of the greatest days of the year, Thanksgiving. Yeah, yeah. Some love the holiday for bringing family and friends together all under a perfectly cooked meal. But for me, I love Thanksgiving for the football.
The Setup
If you’re like me, you will probably be stuck at some distant relatives’ home for the day. First things first, find out if they have cable. Get that puppy working and make sure there aren’t any child locks on Fox, NBC, or CBS. If there isn’t cable, all you need is the wifi to get the game on. I’m not going to recommend or commend the use of streaming services, but I know a bunch of little criminals stealing from the NFL who use Sport Surge for all their streaming needs. Last thing, get the best seat in the house. Don’t worry about “superiority” seating, but always have a view of the TV. I’ve sat at the kid’s table with my uncle for the past 3 years so we can hammer our bets together.
The Games
This year, and every year for the past however many years, will include games with the Lions and the Cowboys. The slate this year is as follows:
- Chicago Bears (-3.5) vs. Detroit Lions
- Dallas Cowboys (-7) vs. Las Vegas Raiders
- Buffalo Bills (-4) vs. New Orleans Saints
I can’t explain how hyped I am for this lineup of games. After last week, it’s looking like we’re gonna start the day with the Red Rocket battling to see his over on picks for the day. We will then get blessed with two of the biggest frauds in all of the NFL (Cowboys fans, I’m sorry it’s not your year). And for the nightcap, we’ll hear Dree “MOTHA F****” Brees commentating for his old team. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t get better than this.
The Gambling
Since 2003, the Lions and the Cowboys have a 14-20 record ATS. Personally, I’ve never followed a route in historical trends, but this one may have some justification. I’ve never seen a more Lions & Cowboys esque season than this one. Lions suck and could have another winless season, and the Cowboys continue to underperform against the best teams. I’m taking both teams against the spread, Bears -3.5 and Raiders +7. Sprinkle in a 6 point, 4 leg teaser with the overs on both games if you’re looking for some added juice.
For the nightcap, I’m torn. The Brees factor makes me automatically hammer the Saints. However, if I do this right, I will tail my historic trend route like the earlier games. The last time a pro bowl quarterback made his commentating debut, the underdog won outright. So not only am I taking Saints +4, but I’m also doubling down and taking Saints ML at +180.
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