How Getting This Job Somehow Ended With Me Getting A Hamster

How Getting This Job Somehow Ended With Me Getting A Hamster

It’s been a weird ride, but here we are. Of all the experiences I’ve had in my life, from couch surfing during my Freshman year spring break in Panama City to going to 3 different colleges in 9 months, nothing could’ve prepared me for this. I am a father now. Well, a father to a hamster, Mr. Phillip.

I got Mr. Phillip about 2 months ago, and while fatherhood is strenuous, time-consuming, and I’ve had to make a ton of sacrifices to give my son Mr. Phillip the best life possible, it has been worth every second. 

Most of the time, parenthood starts with something most of our parents taught us at a young age, ya know… THAT THING. But for me, weirdly, it all started back when I first got this job. 

Three or so months ago, I was doing what most college guys do at 2:00 PM on any given Wednesday, scrolling through Tik Tok, completely ignoring my Astronomy class. Kanga’s account came on my feed, and my immediate thoughts were, “Holy crap, this would be a cool place to work,” and my second thought was, “I wonder if I could beat these guys in a shotgun?” 

Fast forward 30 minutes deep into an internet hole, and I’ve already written up an application and bought a Kase Mate for the upcoming weekend. Something weird stuck with me though. One question to be specific on the application: “What life experience are you most proud of?” It was at that exact moment I had a bigger purpose in life. I could’ve just been happy with saying that I can shotgun a beer sub 4 seconds, can grow a mustache better than 80% of the population, or even that I once beat my grandmother in a footrace when I was 10 years old (she ended up breaking her arm, story for another time)... but that wasn’t enough for me. 

I first went to my girlfriend, who immediately shot the idea down, saying that I am crazy and am way too “immature and irresponsible to be a father.” Oh well, who needs her. I was lost, I knew I needed to be a father, but I didn’t know how. But you know the funny thing they say about fate, shit always happens for a reason. 

Some random girl I had on Snapchat, probably from high school, posted on her story that she needed to re-home her pet hamster. I looked at Snapmaps, and she lived a good hour away, but the minute I saw that cute, furry little rodent, I had to get him. 

Mr. Phillip and I do everything together, as any good father-son does. He’s the perfect beer dye partner, he loves going on joy rides in his remote control car, and I’ve been pressing the Kanga boys even to make a hamster Kase Mate so Mr. Phillip and I can literally match in every single aspect. 

So what’s the point I’m trying to get across in this blog? STUFF WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. I applied for this job, and now I’m a proud father. You’re reading this blog; what’s next for you? Do you have to go check out the Kase Mates and see which ones your favorite? Maybe. Will you discover some crazy improbable outcome that will change the rest of your life after reading this? Probably not. But what I can say definitively, you’re reading this blog for a reason. Take the day and realize what for. You’ve got it, brotha.

- Connor Laird (Blog Protégé, Hamster lover, and stoked new team member)

Leave a comment