Welcome back to another edition of the dog days series: Your source of how to beat the heat and keep the drinks cold all summer long.
Summer 2021 has been one for the books so far. Bars are open, the lakes are flowing, and the vibes all around have been nothing but immaculate. Sadly, there is always one problem with summer that I’ve gotta address. It’s the same problem we have the other 9 months... School.
I’ll be the first to admit that summer school gives you a bit of order during your carefree months (and if you’re a degenerate like me, without it, you’ll find yourself in a 4-day blackjack bender). Yeah, yeah, yeah, sue me. It’s kinda nice to be slightly responsible. But sometimes it’s needed.
Some take that schedule and run with it. Others end up dropping the classes and take a 5th year because of ‘em. Now that I’m thinking of it, there are always 4 different ways I see people taking summer classes. Which one are you?
- The Community College Hero
We all know this guy. He coasts during the school year, taking 9-12 hours, and never seems to have actual work to do. See, we are all living in 2021, but this man is in 3021. He’s found what I like to call “The Great Loophole.” See, most colleges will allow a certain percentage of credits from community colleges to count towards your degree. And this guy is taking full advantage. At this point, his hours accumulated through summer classes just might have earned him an associate’s degree.
- The Work Horse
The Work Horse generally falls into one or two categories: People, who for some reason, are wanting to graduate early and people who are trying to graduate on time after screwing up. There is no break for the Work Horse, no matter the time of year. He’s taking 15 hours minimum, especially if he’s an upperclassman. Expect to see him 0 times all summer and constantly hear about how tough it is always having to study.
- The Elective Guy
The chill bro out of the four mentioned, the Elective Guy will probably graduate in 5-7 years, which is super normal and never frowned upon. He loves college too much, so much so that he’s taking his sweet time wrapping it up. His parents are probably making him take a summer class to see “progress.” Ever taken a core class your senior year summer? This guy has. Expect his GPA to be somewhere in the 2.0s but his chill to pull ratio to be at a minimum of 3:1.
- The “Wait, f*** I Forgot I Signed Up For This” Guy
Probably one of your best friends, this guy may never graduate college. He’s one of the most casual dudes out of the friend group but is always a couple of steps behind the pack. When you go out with him, he vanishes halfway through the night. And his parents probably aren’t his biggest fan. But ya know what? He makes up for it being the funniest dude in the room each and every time. Expect for him to disappear for one week during the summer to finish his entire astronomy class.
- Connor (The Elective Guy, Let Kanye do Kanye guy)