Welcome back to another edition of the dog days series: your source of how to beat the heat and keep the drinks cold all summer long
Nothing screams summertime like a car full of screaming children in the back of a mini van heading to a rental house two blocks away from the ocean at the busiest beach in your state like the month of July, right?
Beach trips, for a lack of a better phrase, can be quite the shit show. We are here to help, and by help, I mean help you get the cold beers flowing as quickly and peacefully as possible. Let’s cruise down to the coast and do it the right way.
First, let’s go over the basics: lets start with packing. Picture this, you have the entire car filled to the brim, keys in hand, and you are doing one more lap around the house to make sure you grabbed every last thing you need before hitting the road. You check in the garage and there it is: your bulky, hard sided, cooler that can barely fit in the car without luggage let alone with a weeks worth of junk in the trunk.
You panic, “How the hell am I going to be able to fit this thing in here.” You ponder in deep out of body thought, starting to get mad you would even think about paying that much money for a cooler that is a glorified fish tank, and then it hits you. Your Kase Mate and Pouch are right next to your golf clubs. You run over, throw it on the mountain of stuff you have in the back, and you hit the road with ease and peace of mind.
Now that the headache of actually leaving the house is over, we can start thinking about the beach.
Lets be real, this beach trip is much needed. Between all of the craziness of the past year and a half, it’s going to feel really good to sit on the sand for hours at a time with seemingly endless adult sodas by your side. Here are my biggest pieces of advice from someone who has lived in a tourist trap of a beach my entire life.
- Get to the beach early: this trip should be your superbowl. You’ve earned it. You know the old saying, “you can’t drink all day if you don’t start early.” You put in what you put out. Show off that dad body like you’re David Hasselhof in the ‘80s and let it rip.
- More breakfast beers= more confidence in beach related activities. I’m not telling you to go drink 9 Mich Ultras and show off your best Michael Phelps impression, actually quite the opposite. What screams washed up college intramural athlete like your ability to bomb your sons nerf football down the beach. Just seriously, don’t throw your arm out of socket, the eight year olds will be impressed regardless.
- Pace yourself. Although the instructions up to the point may seem contradictory to what we are saying now, this one is crucial. Yes, drink all day. No, don’t be the guy who can’t make it past the beach and falls asleep before dinner. Take that crucial midday nap, destroy a couple gatorades beforehand, hop in the shower with your favorite pre game liquids, and get ready for the night ahead. If you did it back in college, you can sure as hell keep doing it. Well, maybe not but at least make it past dinner.
Besides that, have fun. Don’t forget your Kanga Coolers and make this the best trip yet. The only sound better than the waves breaking on the shore is the sound of you breaking the record for most beers destroyed before 10 AM on a Tuesday in July. Stay thirsty, the dog days of summer blogs are just starting.
- Matt (Big Beach Guy, Love marine biology guy, make shark week better guy)