We have all been thinking about it.
For quite some time.
And by quite some time.
We mean over 8 freakin' months.
Of course, what I’m talking about is the first time we can all “safely” go out to our favorite bar.
As states all over the country are slowly beginning to reopen, with the exception of Myrtle Beach that never closed in the first place, every person from their early twenties to their late sixties have been waiting for the day they can be social in public again. Here at Kanga, we wanted to give you a taste of what our first night out will probably be like, and what yours will most likely to
If you will, take a second and imagine it with us: You’re at the pre, pre-game with one or two of your roommates. You’ve actually shaved your face for the first time in weeks, showered before 3pm, threw on something that wasn’t your old fraternity mixer shirt from 2013 and a pair of sweats, and you are actually looking forward to something for the first time in months.
Although you’ve done this a million times before, this is special. Like Sunday at The Masters Special. You feel like Michael Jordan coming out of retirement in ‘95 and you are ready to finish every beer, claw, and over priced mix drink your favorite bar could possibly have on their outdated drink list.
You hop in the Uber to the pregame, Kanga in hand, wallet filled with cash that you have absolutely no business spending on your entry level marketing job salary, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, could possibly stop you from blowing your savings on your first night out.
Due to the Christmas morning level excitement you are feeling, you’ve managed to accumulate quite the buzz while you were waiting for your roommate to get off the phone with his long distance girlfriend and are feeling great. You hop out, and can already hear the early 2000s power hour protruding out of the front door. Destined to get at least two noise complaints, you walk in and see the boys.
You proceed to absolutely delete half of your beers, and as your Kanga gets lighter, so does your ability to head bang to every classic pregame song you could ever imagine. For lack of a better phrase, You’re absolutely housed. Vision? Blurry. Ability to talk to any person of the opposite sex? No shot. Your confidence? Through the roof. All of a sudden,You look up, it's been an hour and a half, and it's you, fringe guy who barely got the invite, and somehow Creed is playing throughout the house.
You run outside, call a $38 uber, and head to the bar.
THE BAR. THE GLORIOUS BAR. You made it, you son of a gun, you made it. You find the boys waiting at the bar for a double shot of low shelf vodka for over 30 minutes, and you couldn’t be happier.
Although the next morning you wake up on the couch covered in some sort of deep fried food, feeling like you’ve been hit by an 18-wheeler and have no sort of gatorade or pedialyte in sight, you've never been better. The world is back to normal and your weekends are back.
We hope this has fired you all up for future fun to be had. For now, stay home, stay safe, and we will get back to crushing beers (at bars) again very, very, soon.
- Matt (Head Writer, Director of the Oxford Comma, Third place 5th grade spelling bee champion)